The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

to answer a question i was asked. no i do not need or want anything from anyone. and the cloudy past is just that.  im getting my shit straight and you will get what is owed to you.  i just started comming back around because im more comfortable on this site than any other.  i would block said person that asked this question but she has several accounts and i know it would do no good so im not going to bother.  although i did recieve good advice in the past does she still hold some for the future.....yea i doubt it too. 

now thats out of the way.

 

im rather groggy this morning i dont really want to move but i have no choice in this matter.  my days have been shitty lately and i know i am my own worst enemy. 

ok i so dont understand why i have this stigmia that follows me.  im always pegged as the cheating drug dealer that has tattoos and is gay.  always never fails.  granted ive raised my fair share of hell and i have done my fair share of cheating and yes i am gay.  i left drugs in a cloudy past and ive tried to rebuild what has taken 21 years to destroy i guess you could say.  i just dont understand no matter how hard or how good i do things everyone automatically thinks the worst of me.  and honestly i can be a rather good friend and i left my cheating drug using ways in the past as ive already said.  i guess it just took today to make things sink in and make me realize just how bad my reputation is and jsut how bad people do think of me.  i mean even the people that are supposed to be "god fearing christians" think the worst of me and dont even give a second glance.  i just dont understand i mean i understand but i dont. 

im starting my normal blog actions.  ive skipped a few days once again. i didnt really realize it had been two days since i had bothered to blog.  not alot has happened since my last blog atleast nothing i really want to talk about.  life is life and thats all you can say about it.

today should be a fun filled day notice the sarcasim in my voice at that note.  im going to work my second job today as i do on all my days off.  im just tired of working but i know i have to keep it up if im going to make it anywhere in this world these days.  i get my drivers license back on aug 26 im so counting the days down until that happens.  i know the more i rush it the slower time passes.  all work and no play makes sam a dull girl.  and ive had no play in about 3 months or so now.  i havent had a day off or the time to do anything.  i havent even been to the club or out to eat or a movie.  how sad is that? i guess i just sat my goal for the week.  get out and see whats goin on in the world

ok so i skipped a day bloggin.  so i have to days to catch up on.  not alot has happened in the two days ive basically just laid around i did go with g to take the kids shopping but thats about it.  i spent the whole day with g and b yesterday we all had a blast but we really did nothing.  i guess when you have good company you dont have to do anything to just have fun.  im very tired and run down for some reason i dont know what the deal is.  i kinda wish i did know though so i could take care of it and get my energy back on track.